loverofmusic1's Blog

We've talked things through and we're fine now. I fee a lot happier not having to avoid somebody whom i call a friend. Hmmm, i still haven't forgotten about what happened, but in a way, it made us closer when she understood my feelings towards the situation. 
it's been an amazing day 'cause i have my best friend back!! (:
Ha, this entry is really short, cause i've got nothing to complain about.
Except the semester finals starting tomorrow..yeah, except that -____________-
I have to start studying so i bid you goodbye (;
~Fifi

My best friend and i that is. Although she fudged up recently, i've decided to forgive her, because there will be times when i will majorly mess something up and it'll be up to her to forgive me. I can't continue pretending that i dont know her, it feels wrong. I also am no longer angry, but hurt. We started talking again. That's a good thing. We're trying to figure out where to go from here. I think were going to be just fine. Every relationship will face obstacles and it's up to us or not to choose how we deal with them. I'm going to choose to forgive. Of course i wont forget. That'd be stupid. I've learned from the situation. 
I got to expand on other relationships as a result of our friendship break, so it wasnt all bad. 
I'm a bit curious to see how things'll work out. 
Thanks for reading my blog. Not very interesting, but i wanted, in some form, to open up and this is how i've choose to do so. It's more interesting. 
I feel change in the air
~Fifi

I feel extremely sad right now. i think that i'm going to use this blog the same way that others use a diary. It's a nice de-stresser. I wish that people would be upfront with their feelings. Not going around, being shady. especially those who should be closest to you and have your back...like family.
Before all this B.S., today was a great day!
I woke up at 12:00pm and went driving.. Just cause. 
And then came home and ate and watched t.v. 
Then of course i found out about some sneakiness that's been going around.
I confronted the person.
Now i feel sad...since the anger has faded, i feel sad that the people that i should be able to trust would behave in such a manner to me. 
Tomorrow's Monday....and my BFF still arent talking. great.. 
Final's is this week? Also great.
I really...really...really...cant wait for this week to be over.

But, i need to expand my circle of close friends and also find ways to become more busy. I think i'd drive myself crazy if i just come home and think about how my day went.   And yes i purposefully didnt write what happened between us, that'll be in my memory and there should be a certain amount of privacy reserved for family..even if they dont give the same courtesy back. Im not going to put them on blast like that. 

Hopefully, this week will turn out better that im thinking it will.

~Fifi

My bestfriend and i have been friends since the 8th grade and now we're both in the 11th grade. We both have another mutual friend who we are both close to as well. We were recently given a project in school and we had to work in a group. Naturally, we all looked to one another as in "duhh". We agreed to work at the house of our mutual friend and her mom came to pick us up after school. When we arrived at her house, i realized that i had forgotten the binder filled with the planning that we had done in class at my locker. She asked her mom if she could take us back to school and her mother who was pregnant, didn't look like she was up to it so i suggested that we just drive ourselves down to school. We are all legally able to drive so no worries there. Our mutual friend was very nervous and i offered to drive, but she didn't want anyone else driving but herself. Since she was nervous about parking right in front of the school, she parked about 3 blocks away from it and asked me to hurry up to the school to retrieve the binder. Of course i can't blame her for this because i was the one who left the binder at my locker. It's freezing cold in Illinois right now and the wind was blowing directly at me. I ran to my locker and retrieved the binder and ran towards the car. When i entered, i cracked the joke, "man, you could've parked a little closer. Its freezing outside!" and smiled. She then looked at me, and said "Well i went above and beyond for you and drove us back to school so just appreciate it." I felt hurt that she would say that and in the tone that she did too. i then told her that if it were her that left the binder at school, and i had to drive her to come get it, i wouldn't say those hurtful things and she rolled her eyes and mumbled somethings under her breath. I felt hurt that she had disregarded my feelings and meanwhile, my bestfriend sat mute next to me. After this, i withdrew and became noticeably quieter. She then proceeded to act like nothing was wrong and continued to talk to my bestfriend and they laughed on without me. When we arrived at her house again, i felt awkward and unwanted but i stuck it out because my grade was riding on the project. I had to leave a bit earlier cause my dad came to pick me up. The next day at school, my bestfriend avoided me and didn't talk to me. I felt hurt. She and i had no conflict, so why was she talking to out mutual friend and not to me? I then began to avoid her as well. when we had to present the project to the class it was she and her on one side, and i on the other. I felt extremely betrayed. She choose her and stopped talking to me even though nothing had happened between us. Our mutual friend still acts as though nothing happened between us and my bestfriend and i still currently aren't speaking. I have loads of other friends, it's just that it takes me a long time to really open up and show all the sides of me. I'm really cheerful and nice and funny with other people but i dont really open up to them. This isn't the first time that it has happened either and so i feel at loss as to how i feel about our friendship. Is this how all bestfriends are? The bad and the good? Should i forget about the relationship? We currently haven't been talking for 3 days now and it's extremely awkward between us. I'm tired.